1991 - 2025

Sending big hugs. Darby (Kiwi) and I were "Kesem married" in 2013. I will always be grateful to Darby for taking me under her wing and being a joy to be around. Will miss her.

I am truly at a loss for words. Darby and I only met this year, but we instantly bonded and became close friends while working together on a high-profile project. It was an absolute delight because of her positive, fun-loving personality. I find it hard to believe she ever met a stranger.
Sending all my love to Jackson, Wyatt, and everyone helping to organize support for them and their families. I feel so lucky to have had the privilege of knowing Darby.

I was devastated to hear of Darby’s passing. She and I worked together at F5 and really got to know each other through a mentoring relationship. Darby’s intelligence, sharp wit, and warm personality will forever be missed, and I was truly grateful to have had the opportunity to call her a friend. 

My sincere condolences for Jackson, Wyatt, and the family for this tragic loss. We have truly lost a star with Darby’s passing. 

It has been so beautiful going back through the photos I have with/of her. Don’t worry, the cigar was just a prop and was not lit!

I had the honor of being Darby’s wedding photographer. I want to begin by saying how deeply, unbelievably sorry I am for your loss. I know that the grief I feel is only a tiny fraction of what your hearts must be carrying.

I imagine so many people will tell you what an extraordinary light Darby was — and I can only echo that with my whole heart. As a wedding photographer, I meet hundreds, if not thousands, of people every year. Darby was different. Darby was special.

From the moment I met her, it felt like we had been friends forever. Her gift for connection was immediate and genuine, and her energy was contagious. We chatted for many hours over a few dinner dates, and let me tell you, she loved you all more than you could ever imagine. As a newcomer into her world, I learned so much about the people who mattered most to her. When I look back at her images and remember being in her presence that day, the warmth she gave to everyone around her is unmistakable — laughing, joking, reminiscing, completely herself.

Jackson, she adored you. She talked about you and Wyatt with so much joy and tenderness. She was nervous for the next chapter, as many are, but she was so excited to step into it with you. On your wedding day, I remember thinking over and over, “They’re going to make it.” What you two had was rare.

Sending all my love and deepest condolences to each of you.

I met Darby through a friend of a friend when she first moved to Boston. We became buddies instantly and for the next few years she was a constant in my life. We danced at bars, took road trips, read tarot cards, went to baseball games, decorated Christmas trees, talked about what we wanted from our careers and partners and life. When she moved to Seattle we kept in touch and I got to see her settle into a beautiful life, the beginning of everything she always wanted.

Darby was effervescent, intelligent, so funny. I hope I will always remember her laugh. It may be a cliche, but she was truly beautiful inside and out.

I wish I had called her the last time I was in Seattle. I thought “next time when I’m in town longer and have more time.” There is never enough time.

I am sending all my love to Darby’s many friends, the Bukowskis and her entire family, and most of all Jackson and Wyatt through this unbelievable tragedy. 

I'm so sorry to hear about this loss. She will always be 'kiwi' to me. She was one of the most amazing souls. She lit up every room she walked into and she made kesem a different experience.
Sending love to all her close friends and family. Praying for everyone and her baby.

There were quite a few of us who met Darby through a friend when she moved to Boston. It's hard to make friends as an adult but Darby had a close group of friends within weeks of moving. I remember calling my dad soon after we met and telling him "I just feel like we're going to be good friends" because how could you not want to be good friends with Darby. She was such a light, you couldn't help but want to be around her. I managed to convince Darby to come with me to the Harvard vs Yale football game at Fenway and we went to Yardhouse beforehand. We found ourselves in the middle of a Yale tailgate at the bar and Darby convinced the bartender that we were Yale alums who left our drink tickets at home. I'm 90% sure he knew she was lying but gave us tickets anyway because you couldn't say no to Darby's effervescence. Though we lost touch when she moved, Darby has had a lasting impact on everyone she's met. The world feels a little darker without Darby in it. Sending all my love and condolences through this devastating tragedy.

From the day Darby and Jackson moved into the house across the street from our home in West Seattle, my husband and I were enchanted. It wasn’t just Darby’s warm beautiful nature and Jackson’s gentle smile, but the love and kindness they showed to each other that we appreciated. Darby touched our hearts profoundly. We will always cherish our memories of her. God bless you always Jackson and Wyatt.

Darby was one of the most incredible persons I’ve ever met. A literal once in a million type person. I consider myself social but Darby had friends in every stop of her incredible journey that she called life. I met Darby through a friend of a friend. A person I thought I would meet in passing. Little did I know that brief introduction would lead to a friendship I would cherish forever and connection that would change my life. Darby was a beautiful soul. A person you could spend a day with and feel like you’ve known her for a life time. Darby was a ray of sunshine in a bleak life. A kickstart in a stagnant and boring story. I feel bettered and blessed for having known Darby and lucky to call her a friend. I’m a better man for meeting her and appreciate the opportunity of calling her my friend.

Darby first reached out to me on LinkedIn after I spoke on a women’s leadership panel. Her message stood out from the dozens I received — it had a different spark. I remembered it months later and finally wrote her back to see if she still wanted to meet up, since we both lived in Seattle. That was January 2024.

The moment I met her, I felt something unique. Maybe it was her radiant smile, maybe it was the way she hugged me like we had known each other forever, or maybe it was simply her energy — open, generous, confident, warm. What was meant to be a short 30-minute introduction became a 90-minute conversation, and many more followed.

We first connected over our shared professional love of change management, and I was helping her with her job search at the time. That spring, she told me she and Jackson had found a home in West Seattle, and I was thrilled to know we would be neighbors. From there we continued to meet around the neighborhood, and a real friendship began to grow. She and Jackson even joined us for my small retirement gathering in June — they fit in effortlessly and immediately.

We were disappointed to miss their wedding after-party as we had already planned a trip to Las Vegas. Ironically, I did meet Darby’s mom by complete chance — we ended up sitting side-by-side at a nail salon the week of the wedding, getting mani-pedis. What are the odds?

We saw Darby and Jackson again at our annual holiday party, and later the three of us met for brunch in early winter. The last time I saw her was back at that same nail salon — this time on purpose — enjoying a mani-pedi together on her day off. It was there that she shared her joyful news: she was pregnant. She was absolutely glowing. She was so ready and excited to be a mom.

We weren’t able to attend the baby shower in August, something I truly regret. Chris and I were out of the country for much of September and October, and when we returned, I texted Darby, stunned by how much time had passed and how close she was to her due date. I knew she was busy, so I told her I’d check in the week after Thanksgiving. It was an unimaginable shock to instead learn of her passing.

It’s hard to put into words the friendship we formed in less than two years. What began as a professional networking connection quickly became something much more personal and meaningful. At one point in the spring, my husband asked, “Who is this Darby? You seem to be spending a lot of time with her.” When he finally met her that June, he understood immediately — he felt the same instant connection with both her and Jackson.

I often listen to Mel Robbins’ podcast, and I once shared with Darby an episode that perfectly captured how I felt about meeting her: “Sometimes all it takes to meet some of your most favorite people in your lifetime is simply saying hello.”

Darby was one of those people for me.  

She touched my life deeply, and I will carry her memory — her kindness, her spark, her warmth — with me always. She made an indelible mark on my heart.

My heart is broken to hear this unfathomable news. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know Darby this year. She was instantly warm and gracious and felt like we were fast friends immediately. I will treasure knowing Darby. The world feels dimmer at the moment. My deepest condolences to Jackson, Wyatt, and Darby's family and friends. I am so sorry.

I have such fond memories of working with Darby and Jackson when they purchased their home. Darbys smile always made me smile. She had one of those smiles- so  full of fun, hope, vivacity and love. Thank you for that memory 

I only knew Darby for a year at F5 but she left a lasting impact that I will cherish forever. We both bonded over being pregnant at the same time, navigating motherhood and raising our kids in West Seattle. She was so intelligent, caring, fun and special. I feel so honored and grateful to have known her and call her a friend. My deepest condolences to Jackson, Wyatt and the rest of her family. We truly lost such a bright shining star with Darby’s passing.

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what you all are going through right now.

My name is Meena. Darby and I met early in 2016--almost a decade ago (which is crazy) at an admitted students event at Georgetown. I remember being struck by her energy--sheer positivity and warmth. It was clear at that event that many were putting on airs to make a good impression while it was vividly clear that Darby's kindness and connection were truly genuine. I was lucky to be her classmate and one of her friends at school.

Please email memories to darbymem@gmail.com for us to collect here (and privately) for the family.